God · Personal

Heart Story 3

Have you ever had this feeling that your mind is not present where your body is?  Have you ever felt that your heart is longing for something more than what is happening at a certain moment?

I have to admit that I having been struggling so much with the motivation to get up in the morning and faithfully follow the path God has put before me.  I have been doing the day-to-day actions but it feels mechanical and forced.  I dread homework and school days are just stressful and long.

It is so hard to be longing to have a defined purpose in my life and at the same time to be in a holding pattern of school, homework, etc.

Even with all of that, I have found ways to spend more time with friends and family and serve in my church.  I have also been cherishing my times with God and find myself falling more in love with Him every day.

I am not complaining.  I am just confused and seeking for answers.  I am not sure my next steps in life and where all of this is leading me.  There have been some days where I do not even want to leave the house or get out of bed.

I pray every day and continue to talk with God about my fears and desires.  I pray that He would not leave me in this state.  I pray that He would teach me to be content where I am with my heart and eyes looking towards Him for my next step.  I have to pray this daily, constantly, without fail.

I have been learning to be thankful no matter the circumstances.  I have been meditating on the scriptures and taking them to heart.  I love this psalm I just read this morning:

Psalm 8

O LORD, our Lord,
how majestic is your name in all the earth!
You have set your glory above the heavens.
Out of the mouth of babies and infants,
you have established strength because of your foes,
to still the enemy and the avenger.
When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars, which you have set in place,
what is man that you are mindful of him,
and the son of man that you care for him?
Yet you have made him a little lower than the heavenly beings
and crowned him with glory and honor.
You have given him dominion over the works of your hands;
you have put all things under his feet,
all sheep and oxen,
and also the beasts of the field,
the birds of the heavens, and the fish of the sea,
whatever passes along the paths of the seas.
O LORD, our Lord,
how majestic is your name in all the earth!

Thank you, Lord, for the fact that I am alive and well today!  Thank you that I have a loving family and friends I can share my heart with.  Thank you for Your Word that guides me every step of the way.  I need You today.  Please guide my path.  Keep me from evil.  Thank you for loving me first.  I am overwhelmed by the fact that You love me.

 

 

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