God · Personal · Uncategorized

Heart Story Part 2

This post written out of thanks and obedience to God, because I believe He wants me to write this down so that I will never forget His faithfulness during this summer.  I hope it is an encouragement to anyone who reads this too.

There is a point where you are in the middle of a growing experience with God and you can’t look back and see what He has done until it is past.  That was my experience this summer.  What can I say but to God be the glory for loving a sinful imperfect being like me.  He is indescribably magnificent, and may my life never cease to bring Him glory!

As the Spring 2016 semester was coming to a climax with finals looming in the coming weeks, I was in my own spiritual turmoil with God.  I felt the relief of summer approaching, but I also realized I had no plans.  It was an ideal situation to be in.  However, my heart longed to have a purpose, whatever small that might be in serving God during that time.  I had seen so many summers pass where I lapsed into apathy about my relationship with God and never really sought after Him and His will.

I know it was selfish, but I was desperate to turn my energies to work for God’s kingdom after having my head submerged under the mountain of college life.  I cried and prayed a lot during the week before finals, which is the exact opposite of what I should have been doing (studying).  I urgently pleaded with God to give me something to do.  I had thought about missions, I had thought about a job, getting more involved in Cru, or volunteering maybe?  As I prayed, I began to write and pour out all these thoughts and desires to Him.  I brought them before Him and laid them at His feet.  At those moments, I realized that I could do nothing without God, and I asked for Him to open the right doors, whatever they may have been.  I also prayed for the strength for me to walk through whichever doors He opened.  Did I feel selfish and pitiful? Yes.  Did I feel frustrated and confused? Yes.  That is why God is to be praised and given all the glory for what happened next.

The next week, I was at my Worship Band’s practice in my church’s sanctuary.  It just so happened that our Youth Group met that night led by the head pastor.  I will fondly call him Pastor J.

Pastor J came sauntering through the sanctuary as we were gathering for worship practice.  All I will say is that he is a big kid at heart with a big personality (Did I just say that?), and in the midst of our short meeting he playfully mentioned that if I did not have any plans for the summer, I should come intern for him. My worship leader laughed and asked if it was because he wanted another intern to torture (Pastor J already had another intern).  I smiled and told him I’d think about it.

In fact, I did think about it quite a bit, because that Sunday I asked Pastor J is his offer was still open and he would be willing to take me on as an intern.  Thus began my summer as a summer youth intern at our church.  I had no idea what I was jumping into, but I was so thankful that God had opened this door open for me that I embraced it wholeheartedly.

I would have been happy just to intern for the summer, but I guess God wasn’t done.  At the beginning of June I went my dentist for a check-up and he offered me a summer temp job as an assistant at his office.  I was blown away at God’s goodness and still am.

It was a whirlwind of a summer.  I spent hours every week with my pastor planning youth group activities and organizing a Youth Camp.  We also were going through a study on hermeneutics together, which I thoroughly enjoyed.  Wednesday nights were spent serving and leading at our church’s Youth Group.  In the other days, I got to dress up in scrubs and learn the ins and outs of being a dental assistant as well as seeing more bloody teeth and root canals than I ever hoped to see in my lifetime.  There are so many other small activities and events that made for a very full summer.

It all culminated in a weekend-long, much anticipated Youth Camp.  I’m not sure how to put the experience into words.  It was a blessing to the leaders as much as the kids.  I think I really learned what it meant to be a servant leader at this camp.

During all this I was still struggling along in my faith and falling before God and and recognizing my failure in the light of His perfection and holiness.  Oh how I treasured every moment He had blessed me with, and I realized more and more how much I really needed Him to take control in all aspects of my life including school.

I must admit that it has been hard to turn my attentions back to school once summer ended.  I really was upset and tried to cling to what I had gained during the summer.  I did not want to go back to the drudgery of school.  However, God is not done with me yet.  He is still refining me, calling me, teaching me.

As I read and pray, the one thing I am definitely taking with me from the summer is a subtle but clear message God continues to lay on my heart:

“Follow Me.  Be my disciple.  Let go of your life and let me take control.  Do not worry or fear, because I Love you and have called you to the path I have laid before you.  I will give you the strength to do the impossible and the peace and joy to abide where I have placed you.  I am your God and Father.  Never forget that.”


To be continued…





One thought on “Heart Story Part 2

  1. God is not done with you yet, my beautiful daughter! Don’t think I haven’t noticed God’s glory shining more and more through you. Can’t wait to see what He has in store for you. Be patient and wait for His path for your life! Love you💞🛐


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s